Daily Joke: Does running late count as exercise?

Daily Joke: Borrow money from a pessimist, they don’t expect it back.

Daily Joke: Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder.

Daily Joke: A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Daily Joke: A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Daily Joke: Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.

Daily Joke: Why did Adele cross the road? To say, “Hello,” from the other side.

Daily Joke: Whenever I pass someone who is texting and driving, I throw my beer at their window.