Daily Joke: I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road-worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.

Daily Joke: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State building can’t jump.

Daily Joke: Why do birds fly? It’s faster than walking.

Daily Joke: Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder.

Daily Joke: A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Daily Joke: A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Daily Joke: A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.

Daily Joke: If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.