Daily Joke: I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.

Daily Joke: If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

Daily Joke: A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

Daily Joke: What is faster: Hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.

Daily Joke: How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to swear? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO!

Daily Joke: For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.

Daily Joke: My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60. Now he’s 97-years-old, and we have no idea where he is.

Daily Joke: I can hear music coming out of my printer – I think the paper’s jamming again.