Daily Joke: Today, I bought cupcakes without sprinkles. Dieting is so hard.

Daily Joke: Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It’s hardly ever for them.

Daily Joke: Whoever said nothing is impossible is a liar; I’ve been doing nothing for years.

Daily Joke: I tried drag racing the other day; it’s murder trying to run in those heels.

Daily Joke: I was a bookkeeper for 10 years… the local library weren’t too happy about it.

Daily Joke: If time is money, are ATMs time machines?

Daily Joke: My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.

Daily Joke: I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.