Daily Joke: What do you call sad coffee? Despresso.

Daily Joke: I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.

Daily Joke: Phones are getting thinner and smarter. People, not so much.

Daily Joke: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.

Daily Joke: If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Daily Joke: I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.

Daily Joke: If you can’t convince them, confuse them.

Daily Joke: A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.