Daily Joke: Why do the French like to eat snails so much? They can’t stand fast food.

Daily Joke: I got fired from my job as a chef for stealing kitchen equipment. It’s a whisk I was willing to take.

Daily Joke: Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

Daily Joke: Before I criticise a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticise him, I’m a mile away and I have his shoes.

Daily Joke: You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.

Daily Joke: I’m addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.

Daily Joke: How did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the pizza before it was cool.

Daily Joke: This is my step-ladder. I never knew my real ladder.